On our boisterous return
journey from the all night garage we call out as one for the
Southampton boiler-maker, turned Working Men's Club crooner, Joel
Martin.
“Play Permutations of
Idle-Minded Whimsy!” we demand with raised voices.
Joel Martin does not hear
us. He is resident in France and is retired from the music business.
Instead we turn our
attentions to the contemporary guardian of the English folk music
tradition, Dr Kanye West.
In particular we pay
careful consideration of his 2010 long-player - My Beautiful Dark
Twisted Fantasy which is a concept album about a young farmer's
attempts to out-race a tractor in a ploughing contest.
Who Will Survive In
America concerns a family of poor Irish immigrants fleeing the
potato famine in their home country, while entertaining lingering
doubts as to whether there will be enough potatoes in the nascent
United States to meet all of their requirements.
Hell Of A Life is
about growing up as the youngest child in an extended family of loom weavers in 16th
century Newcastle.
The first time I played
this track my hearth rug caught fire and the isolated one-room stone
cottage that has sheltered sixteen generations of my family was
reduced to naught but smouldering rubble.
In the year 2012 AD I
asked an apparition of Dr Kanye West that had appeared in the vestry
of my local church whether he would sign the turnip that I had
purchased on Ebay.
When he kindly acquiesced I gave joyful thanks to our God
in heaven in the highest. I made the turnip into a wholesome stew
that kept my family nourished for three days.
It is in accordance with
the diligent worldly labours of Dr Kanye West (now unanimously
crowned Lord of the Summer Barleycorn by our grateful village) that
folk music not only remains a viable music stream, but actively
thrives upon this verdant isle that is Greater England.
God Save the Queen!
